Dream~

Last night, was the first time I fell asleep so deep that I had a dream after quite some time.
It has been countless nights that I can't sleep. Awake till the next rise of twilight.
More than a month, if I'm not mistaken. Reason being so? Only the people i consider close ones knows.


Last night,
It might have been the body resistance against my sudden refusal to consume the drugs I was prescribed on.
I fell asleep, common for others to sleep,right? But not me...recently.
At first, it was not one of those "Good night, Sleep tight" thing.
The pain really squeezed my brain, eyes felt unusually warm, very hot breath.(I might have burned my pillow). Then, I was awoken by a phone call. After that, resume to catch some sleep.

I finally fell asleep. Lucid dreaming? No.
More like a visit into my pre-constructed Lalaland.
It's funny, when i start dreaming, I always return to a few "familiar" places.
Like a game of Counter Strike, spawning into different fields after a full match.
Ok, enough about that.
I fadely remember the dream. Except for some details.
A deserted wooden house. With a cabin like the ones on the ship.
I saw a figure, staring out the window. A total silence. Dim room, but i can identify those Kina-Grannis-braided-ponytail hairstyle. My heart went storming suicidally. As i take small and slow paces toward her, she turned around, as if she was waiting for me all along. Not a word was spoken or said.
She rushed to me, unlike her egoistic reality, she leaned in and hugged me. Speechless and shocked, I started stroking her braid down to her back softly. Looking so petite and weak in her purple shirt.
She wrapped her hands around my body, below my arms. Showing signs of fragility and defenceless.
I couldn't express my feelings at that moment. A brawl between my total opposite polars. I knew that it was a dream all along...but i didn't want it to end any other ways... i forced myself awake...
Tears. Tears started to roll down the edges of my eyes. My eyes was wide open, it was around 5am. Motionless. I saw my phone's low battery warning light flashing. But, I didn't move an inch. I didn't want to spoil that feeling. I even tried to force myself where i left that "situation". But it never reappears. I guess, it was good that i left it that way. Giving me this...rush...adrenaline rush, thinking of what happened, what might happen next, reasons, might be another vision of mine, anything. It kept my dead spirit going.

The girl in purple.
Your stance looked so humble.
Your gaze looked so empty,
Like you're looking right through me.

Why did you turn around?
I know i didn't make a sound.
Were you really expecting me?
Or just any guys will do, will be?

Questions keep shooting me from every direction,
Deciphering our motion and action.
Whether it is another sign from Him,
But in the end, i realize it's just a dream.

I love how much i hate you.
And,
I hate how much i love you.